Dear Reader

Happy summer dusk and autumn dawn! I have a sense of completion after my summer adventures, as well as new beginnings, with the events I am planning in the next few months. One important beginning is that I've received my diploma in Psychosynthesis counselling and am starting to expand my private counseling and therapy practice, on top of the coaching I have been doing.

If you are looking for a holistic therapist that integrates both talk therapy and somatic work, and is fully affirming and knowledgable when it comes to queerness, non-monogamy, kink and neurodiversity, please email me so we can see if I might be the right therapist for you.

---

How deep can you go when you have multiple partners?

(latest blog article from openrelating.love)

A common argument from people sceptical of polyamory as a viable relating dynamic, is that it doesn’t go deep enough because you don’t get to spend all your time together like you would in monogamy.

Being drawn to each other in monogamy often leads to spending as much time as you can together, building intimacy and trust through sheer force of physical contact and presence. It also often means neglecting other important relationships in your life, such as friends, in favour of your monogamous partner. This is clearly not a requirement of monogamy, yet so often there is an unconscious choice to spend time as a ‘couple’ even when seeing friends. Reducing the opportunities to spend 1:1 time with a friend means not going as deep with them while deepening your connection to your romantic partner.

When I have multiple partners or if I want to be open to more than one partner, it isn’t a viable option to spend all my free time with one person. As much as I might be excited about a new partner, I have commitments to existing partners and to myself, preventing me from seeing them as frequently as I might have liked. But I don’t believe this means we don’t go as deep, or won’t get to the same level of intimacy as in monogamy.
​

​Continue reading this on my blog and let me know what you think.

---

What's the point of play-fighting?

After facilitating play-fighting workshops in London as well as several festivals, I am so excited to take this format on the road and facilitate more events in several cities in England. I am constantly and repeatedly amazed by the creativity of participants and how much they gain from the experience.

I'm really happy to be able to share with you first-hand accounts of people who attended and felt the urge to write about their experience.

• ​Carla's experience​
• ​Tess' experience​
• ​Alice's experience​

If you are interested in helping to organise a play-fighting event in your town, and can assist in locating the right venue and inviting people to attend, I'd love to discuss bringing it over and co-creating something beautiful.

And if you are near any of these locations, you are welcome to join and bring friends. You can use the discount code 'newsletter' for £5 off the entry price.

• London - 23 September
• Manchester - 6 October
• Nottingham - 7 October
• Bristol - 8 October
• Brighton - 21 October

Click here to book play fighting

---

Men's work - conscious men doing the work to help heal the planet

I've been giving a lot of thought over the summer to how I might work with men. My own journey took me through deep introspection on what it means to be a man in the 21st century. Exploring polyamory helped me shed lots of patriarchal baggage and create space for a new mindset that isn't concerned with 'man' as identity, but rather focuses on who I am authentically as a person, while also recognising that others will continue to perceive me first as a man.

I view performative masculinity as a shield that many men put up when it seems easier to do so, than being fully vulnerable. The belief that vulnerability equals weakness is at the heart of so much toxicity. So my path seems to lie in helping other men access their deep emotions and to learn the emotional vocabulary to communicate these emotions with others. Further, it's about recognising that we need to own and heal this vulnerability and not make it the sole responsibility of our partner/s.

On 6 September, I will be holding space online to support growth, change and healing for men. It is open to anyone who identifies as a man - this is not about biology or presentation. I invite you to join me and explore together as I aim to offer an ongoing course for men who are committed to do the work.

Click here to book - 6 Sep.

---

Peer Support - alternative relationships group support sessions

The online peer support group has taken a break over the summer and I am keen to restart it and continue offering low-cost coaching, insights and support within an intimate group setting. Historically, it's been difficult to run a regular session as people have often booked and then cancelled last minute or not shown up. Those that have attended found the sessions very helpful and even profound. There are no requirements to attend other than being interested in multigamy (non-monogamy) and looking for some guidance, feeling that you are not alone and learning from others' experiences.

The next session will happen on Sunday 10 September, 6pm CET, 5pm UK, 1pm EST. It will be larger than normal in the format of an interactive talk and Q&A with me. If you have any questions about polyamory and alternative relationship dynamics, please join and ask them.

Click to join peer support - 10 Sep.